I would like to have counsel on how to get my husband and me on one page with our budget issues. He maintains the budget but often rearranges the numbers. Often, our communication about budgeting seems to be on different pages. Can you give us some advice?

Hello, my name is Ron Blue and I’m going to answer a specific question that just because when I read the question that came in, I had to laugh because I thought maybe my wife wrote that question. Here was the question. “I’d like to have counsel on how to get my hubby and me on one page with our budget problems. He maintains a budget but fudges (her words), rearranges the numbers rather than having steadfast numbers so our communication is not on the same page in this area.”

You know, I thought, my wife could have written that one. I am an accountant. I think that God invented Excel for people like me. How can you make a budget without putting it on Excel where you can just change the numbers with a stroke of a pen or a stroke of a keystroke?

And, I think that a lot of men think like I do – you know, the budget is just a general guideline, it’s just a target. Whereas, we’re coming into communication with our wives at this point in time, and then this point in time, and then this point in time. They’ve not seen what’s gone on in between those points in time. And we manage, rearrange, feel good about the manipulation of the numbers, but it creates a tremendous amount of insecurity in our spouses, in our wives. I know that because I’ve experienced it.

My wife said, “Don’t ever put me on a spreadsheet, and don’t ever try to prove things with a spreadsheet. Let’s keep the numbers consistent.” I think, men, one of the things that you can do as a favor to your wife is to, if you’ve got a budget, that’s it! Now, you might change it and so forth, but your still living with that original set of numbers that you and your wife agreed on. You might manipulate it, but make that it in another spreadsheet where you do it for your own exercise and for your own entertainment.

You need a budget that you and your wife can come back to consistently. Or, you’re going to get the same type of reaction that I’ve gotten over forty some years of marriage, and that is, “Don’t change the numbers on me; I thought we agreed to this!” I hope that’s helpful to you.

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